by: Kizza Marru Samperoy

photo by: inhabitat.com

I swallowed the lump that has been a lost man who decided to camp in my throat,

I was this child who struggled to survive a storm with my little boat,

I was being a prisoner of a jail named after the word “mind”

I was the skin that is beautifully scarred with sin and magnificently adorned with imperfection.

I was the kid with an invisible friend named “Depression”

And with him, I found someone who came and never left.

It started with him being the tittle of this small letter “i”

He was just a part of me,

But the next moment, my friend became the letter “I”.

He became I.

He’s not a monster or some sort, but he swallowed the whole me.

He used to be just a seed and then he’s a full grown tree.

You see, when I was little, I used to tap my foot on the ground whenever I think of solutions to my problems.

But ever since Depression came into my life, the tapping was no longer enough, not even the harsh stomps.

And the best thing about it was that, everytime I pounded the hard ground, I felt a crack. In here, here and here.

My heart, my mind, my soul.

I was broken but is still functioning well.

I laughed at all the silly and even the lamest jokes because when I think of myself they all disappear.

I pitied myself and asked if I will ever just let things like that? And no, I never wanted to.

I don’t want to just succumb into darkness.

I don’t want to just die, I want to leave a mark.

I know it isn’t just me who’s doing awful self-pity at the curtain’s back.

I know I am not the only one experiencing this because Depression is quite friendly.

He was my friend but I want myself and people to realize that he is the enemy.

So come on! Help me, as I divert my attention into something worth embracing.

Help me dedicate my time to productivity.

The best solution to any problem is to not consider the fight a struggle. Consider them trash.

Don’t throw them or try to run away from them.

Be brave enough to take responsibility.

Be human enough to try and right the wrong.

If you think you’re nothing, if you think you’re useless,

Look at the trees, the sun and the sky.

Don’t think that no one needs you, for the Earth does.

So join me and let us mend,
Let’s find healing in the environment

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